Reality Is Sometimes Stranger Than Fiction...

Starting off another day alone is something that I got used to now, I don't have anything better to do than doing my favorite thing ever, reading… now that I'm totally friendless and as I said before, and the guy I thought I love acted a bit different than what I expected he would… having this kind of life now is actually the best thing that has ever happened to me, I'm completely fine with being alone like this, how is it going to affect me? I'm gonna go crazy? Hello… I’m already crazy, so there's no point of chasing this obsolete meridian… it is true that I go out a lot more now, on weekdays, to a park near my house, like a 15 minutes walk, so I go from the morning till sunset and don't do anything except to write whatever I have on my mind, and the best part is that there is no one over there at that time except for a little number of people, and I used to do that when I was 17 and still in school, I used to go to that place just for the sake of not going back to the hell hole I call my home, or to get away from whatever problems I caused in school… and being the stupidest person on the face of earth ever, I decided to go to the Starbucks near the park where I always hang out, now going to Starbucks on a weekend day is the worse thing I've ever done, its crowded as hell and I can't stand it… yet, being the dumbass I am, I went over there to get something to go and just leave… I walked in, and it was full of people as expected, I did the thing I always do, I just looked on the floor and kept walking, in order to avoid eye contact with anyone… I bumped into this guy at the door, I said "sorry" and kept walking… that’s when I heard a voice I recognize very well saying: M.J.? Is that you? And in one moment, I smiled in irony and said: well if it isn't you, when did you get here from Brussels? It was Ryan; he came as he said he would 2 months… he said: I arrived only a couple of days ago, and you know I own an apartment near here, and you also know I'm obsessed with Starbucks… I said: awesome, choke on it, I'm going… he said: wanna sit down and talk this whole thing out? You know final closure? And finally be friends? I said: and when did you suddenly turn into Miss Congeniality? Last time we tried to talk this out I did something I was wishing it would've kept you away for at least a century until you're a rotten corpse… you sure look like one. He said: you didn't grow up a bit, maybe by height; you're taller than me now. I said: woo hoo… lucky me, I knew this conversation was going no where so I chose to end it by my self, I walked away to the cash register to order something and just go, Ryan said: I'll be waiting for you outside in my car, same car as always… I got my stuff and I walked outside, it was almost dusk time and I was planning to take what I have just ordered to my room and continue reading over there, that’s where Ryan started talking to me again… I got kind of fed up with it, I said: fine, you want to talk, lets talk, about the way you abandoned me because I was only an insecure teenager with mixed feelings 3 years ago, lets talk about the way you slept with my best friend just because you thought I have feelings for him, lets talk about the way you always wreck my world by coming up with a different disaster to plague whatever I have just built, I advice you to go find some other bimbo to show off like you did with Tim last year, and I guess we're more than done over here… at that moment, luckily, my phone rang, it was my Goth friend from Syria, Omar… He arrived in Amman, and I was really eager to see him, its been a while since we last talked, I told him that we'll meet up at City Mall and then figure out something to do, soon I was at City Mall, and I got a message from Omar saying that he'll be 30 minutes late because he got stuck at his grandparents' place, I couldn't complain so I sent back "sure, no problem.." while I was trying to kill time by looking around me, my phone rang again, and Zaid's name was on the screen, I didn't want to answer, but I thought "what the heck, I'll spit a couple of words in his face and hang up, will be fun and will waste sometime", I answered, and he said: where are you? I said: out… he said: I can't hear you well… can you move outside or near a window or something? Since I was already in the ground floor, I went out of the main entrance, I said: what about now? He said: yeah that’s better, now hang up. I found him standing right next to me, I said: I have absolutely nothing to say to you, I may have over reacted but this was your way of saying goodbye, and it was one hell of a way… he said: can't you just hear me, I can't even say anything in my defense? I said: nope, now beat it… that’s when another guy was walking into the mall with a girl, it was A.J., he said: hey you, haven't seen you for a while. Zaid said: who's this? A.J. said: I'm A.J.; I'm with M.J. at his university… I said: great, you two talk to each other while I find a place where I can shoot my self, bye. While I was walking away, and trying to call Omar to meet me up in another place, that’s when Ryan was just parking his car outside, I said: great, it just couldn't go worse. Ryan said: hey… I said: how did you get here? He said: I heard you on the phone saying that you're gonna be here, and since I wasn't able to talk to you before I thought I'd show up and see you now… that’s when Zaid and A.J. came and Ryan said: aren't you gonna introduce us? I said: Ryan, this is Zaid and A.J., and I'm out of here… A.J. said: Ryan as in your ex-Ryan? Ryan said: that’s me. Zaid said to A.J.: how do you know about that? A.J. said: me and M.J. got pretty much close last year, we even kissed last December… Zaid said to me: we were still dating at that time… Ryan said: you're dating someone? I said: and that’s my sign out, you three enjoy eating each other up… Zaid said: don't go yet, we have to talk, A.J. and Ryan said: same goes for us, we have to talk to you also… I said: you, first of all, I have nothing to say to you, since you chose your ex boyfriend over me and you didn't even care for me at all since we met last September… I turned to A.J. and said: and you, it was only a kiss, no need to blow it out of proportion, grow up and choose either a guy or a girl to date since you're bisexual, your odds are doubled right there. And I said to Ryan afterwards: and you, out of everyone, you don't have the right to show up like this and assume that I'm gonna talk to you again, you left 3 years ago, that was partially my fault, but screw me if I'm not living in the shadow of you coming back one day, because I'm not gonna do that, get over it. I stormed out of there not sure about the way I'm feeling, and I saw Omar right in front of me, I said: good you're finally here, I'm kind of in a screwed up mood and I could use a friend right now… he said: I have to tell you something… I said: can't it wait till we get somewhere and at least order coffee? He said: I have feelings for you… I didn't say anything for almost 5 minutes, then he said: well… now I have to go, I said: wait, can't we even talk about this? Its not gonna be awkward to talk to you anymore, is it? He said: I guess its gonna be like this from now on, don't try to talk to me, good bye… and he walked away, I went home and kept on thinking why is God getting such a thrill from screwing up my life, and it definitely just went from bad to worse…