Sorry for not writing in such a while.. so much happened lately, Khaled and his bf broke up, then back together again, then broke up, then back together again, yada yada yada.. things got a little bit intense with Zaid.. we kinda,, broke up, and got together again, he is such an ass, i mean he does anything that pisses me off, and nothing to make me feel like we're even in a relationship.. yesterday, i was hanging out with old friends from school in starbucks, and he called me, he told me he's in Book@cafe, a famous hangout here in Amman, so i asked him what he's doing, he said: Hunting, i said, fine, i'll leave you to your hunting then, and i hung up on him, and it made me feel like crap for the rest of the evening, all the time i was thinking, why am i with him? he doesn't even deserve me, he's not what i'm looking for cause simply he doesn't do what i want him to do, to call me in the morning just to hear my voice first thing in the morning, to look me in the eye and tell me he loves me.. but again, it all comes with a price to pay, although Ryan used to do all this stuff.. but.. Ryan is different, the first guy ever, a person that you never forget. Now back to Zaid, so today we're talking on MSN, he said: so wanna hangout tonight? or you got something to do? i scratched my head a little and my instinct told me not to go.. so i told him that i'm gonna see Khaled tonight, i don't think i'm gonna be able to see Zaid without making some fuss about our relationship... its like, Never working out well, everyday we nag, fight, argue.. i know you gotta put some effort in the relationship to work, but this is just too much.. which brings me to Sam now.. Sam is a guy in university, the other day i was hanging out with other "smurfs" from my major, and there was this guy looking at me, so Laura, one of the girls in my "peeps" said: go talk to him, tell him to stop looking, its so creepy,, i said: hm yeah right away. so i went, and i was like: hey whats with the constant staring? he said: i wanna be part of your friends,, and your shirt kinda says you're... gay... are you? i said: yeah i am, i'm not single anyway, so i guess i'll see you later, he said, great, give me your phone number, i was like.. fine, for no use, i gave him my phone number, and walked away, attended my lectures and was on the way home, while i was waiting for the bus to come, i found Sam in his car, he said: where do you live? here in Sult or in Amman? i said: in Amman, Swefieh.. he said, thats close to my house, hop in i'll drive you.. i was like,, thanks :D so for like 1 hour and a half, the road time, we kept talking, he's nice, but for someone else, there's nothing special in him, but he's so rich.. and at one point he said: i'll give you whatever you ask for.. but be mine. i said: really tempting, but i think i'll go with my morals which tell me at this particular moment to turn that offer down, i'm not something to be bought like this, and if you think i am, pull over and let me get down from your "property".. he said: whoow you got some nerve, don't get pissed off dude, take a chill pill.. i said: thats it, now you're in the ignore circle, i'm not talking to you anymore. so he drove me to the 7th circle, thats like a 10 minutes walk from my house.. before i left, he said: when can i call? i said: don't bother to, he said: hah, i made you talk.. and all i was saying in my head was "shoot, stupid guy".. so when i got home, as usual, listen to music, eat something and started browsing my books.. ofcourse my laptop was on and i was online on MSN.. but i wasn't looking at my laptop's screen, i was on my bed and the laptop was on the desk, and muted cause i didn't wanna hear any notifications from MSN, Yahoo, AIM, Gtalk, etc etc etc... so Zaid sent me a message, and another message, and another one, one after another, i wasn't there and i didn't see anything, so i got a sms message on my phone saying: so you don't wanna talk to me.. fine, bye.. it was from Zaid, i was like, whatever, it got to a point that it doesn't make a difference anymore, and i called him to say that, i said to him: there will come a day that i will proudly call you: simple past, and you're just a buffoon with cute eyes, you don't even deserve me, you know i blame my self for even thinking about looking at you, and here comes the bye, bye.. and hung up on him.. he tried to call back but i didn't answer, and i blocked him on MSN.. not permanently, just for a couple of days to see his reaction.. he tried to call for a couple of times and then he gave up..i gotta go now cause Khaled and Assir are waiting for me :D i'll continue later
