Keep Pulling Backwards And Forward...

Let's see.. now after whatever is going on between me and Zaid, things that usually ruin a relationship started to appear, yeah me and him are in a relationship, after the other day, he asked me to be with him.. anyway i met Khaled on the same day, i told him that i finally "settled" that i finally found a guy.. he said: tell all.. who is he? what does he look like? tell me every single detail.. i started talking about him,. he suddenly said: stop here, i know him, he's just a guy that says he wants a relationship to have sex and after 2 or three times he breaks it up.. also Khaled's boyfriend, Assir said the same to me, i told them both: i'll just see what i can do, i won't lose anything.. Khaled said: i'm just saying this for your own sake.. i didn't know what to say.. at that moment, Zaid called me, told me that he's waiting and he wants to see me at that moment, i said: sure, give me a sec and i'll be with you, i got there, he kissed me on my cheek and i felt like i'm dying inside, that this great guy that is everything i want has simply turned out to be this.. thing, he looked me in the eye, and said: whats wrong? wanna sit with me and talk about it? so we found a seat and i said: do you want this to last? he said: ofcourse i want it to last, i want to wake up next to you every single morning left in my life, you are everything that i want, you're sooooo cute and soooooo sweet, and i wanna spend the rest of my life laying with you in our bed just looking in your eyes. At that moment, Assir came and said: hey, me and Khaled wanna talk to you for a moment, i said to Zaid: give me a sec and i'll be back, he said: sure.. so Assir said: look, i know what you're gonna say in advance, that you don't care and that you're gonna try and you feel like he really loves you and that crap, but you're my friend and i care about you.. i told him: i'm willing to take my chances with him.. he said: ok, you remember Yousef? i said: sure. (he was a guy i met on the tawjihi (highschool) results night with Khaled, and he wanted us to get into a relationship but i was like: no thanks!!) Assir said: he was Zaid's ex-bf, and he told me and Khaled that he's just into sex and looks at guys as a victory to achieve.. at that moment, i didn't know what to think, i said: ok.. i'll see.. and i walked back to Zaid, i just felt like i'm looking at a totally different person, that he's not that sweet caring guy that i always wanted, i felt sooo bitter inside and i had to swallow my own bitterness and answer him when he asked: is there something wrong? i said: no no, just another fight between Khaled and Assir.. he held my hand and looked into my eyes and said: wanna tell me anything? i hesitated at first but then said: do you really love me? he said: i'm not gonna answer this question again, because you already know the answer. i said: fine, don't, say anything else, whatever you want. there was a silence for like 5 minutes and several eye contacts.. then he said: last year when i went to Lebanon for a month for summer vacation, i used to have sex 6 times a day, i said: i should care because? he said: hey look at that waiter, he's really hot.. his words were getting more and more stupid, so i told him: on my way here, i met Alaa', my boyfriend in highschool, i said a couple of words to him, he said if i wanna come to hang out at his place i'm more than welcomed, i gave Zaid a smirk kinda smile and finished my sentence, he got pissed off suddenly and said: and why did you talk to him? why did you tell him that you'll come to his house? i thought you had a boyfriend already. i told him: so what if i talk to another guy? i can't even have friends? he said: sure you can, then he looked away, and stopped talking to me at all.. i wanted to get his attention so i held his face in my hands and looked him in the eye, he said: let go, people are looking.. i said: fine, i'm gonna sit with Khaled and Assir, if you want me you know where to find me, he said: fine. i said: you're unbelievable.. Khaled noticed when i got to them, he said: whats wrong? problems in heaven already? i told him to go fuck him self.. he said: ohhhhhhh he's got the attitude now.. so i walked away from them both, i didn't know where to go so i went to an isolated corner near the Adidas shop.. and started to listen to the music i got on my cellphone, the song that played randomly was "Red Dress" by the Sugababes.. "And when you show, you'll never let him play you again, sure put on your favorite smile" i closed my eyes and just kept listening to the same song over and over again, after i listened for it like 20 times, i felt like there's someone watching me, so i opened my eyes and i found Khaled looking at me, he said: look at you, Qais in his all mighty and power, Qais that always has this powerful attitude and the great confident smile that confuses anyone, what happened to you? all of this because of a guy that doesn't even worth you thinking about him? you'd better get a grip before you fall.. and when you fall, remember everything you did and every one will come back seeking revenge, every single guy you ever insulted, destroyed.. all will come back, and trust me, at that moment, i won't have your back because i will be risking my own self.. i said: good, you're done here? cause i gotta do something here. he said: do what? i said: let me check, yeah, not listening to crap from you.. he said: fine, i warned you.. i saw Zaid from a distance, he was looking at me, still on the same bench, something inside me told me that i should go talk to him, even if we talk to eachother like bitches i'd be fine with it, at least i'd get to be near him, so i got up, and i put on my favorite confident smile, i saw Assir walking by with a couple of Pepsi from him and Khaled, i smiled to him and he smiled back, when i got to Zaid, i said: i just asked you to say three words, if i knew they'll cause all of this, i would've never asked you to say them, save your self the trouble to explain cause i'm walking away.. i walked back home, on the way i saw Khaled driving in his car around, said a quick hi, laid on my bed and instantly fell asleep.